Wendy

Discovers

Her

Own

Magic

She leaves the nursery and everybody in it

With a kiss for Nanny the only one who sees her

A love-filled hug for her brothers whom she’ll always visit with stories of her harrowing adventures in the real world

A long embrace for her mother, whose own magic never stood a chance

Though it’s never never too late

One last gaze at her father, the saddest lost boy in the room

And consequently the most dangerous

She’ll remember Peter as the one who had the honor of witnessing the rebirth of her magic

Who saw her splendor

Who fell in love with her

{As much as a narcissist can}

But he and Tink can go fuck themselves have already found

Some new pretty thing to toy with in the Bermuda Triangle of their depravity

She will never forget how many times they risked her

Safety and even deliberately tried to harm her

Their callousness born of their obsession with their bottomless egos and insidious insecurity

Wendy stands on the threshold of that fateful window with a serene smile upon her lips

Grateful for all of it

A heart on fire with love and longing

A soul at peace

She says goodbye to all she’s known

And steps off that ledge into the soft light of dawn

She soars

With the serenity and power of a woman

Who knows who she is

In full view of the passersby below who gawk

And shake their heads in disbelief

At the woman flying solo

She catches the twinkling eye of a little girl below then

Wendy winks and blows her a kiss

Freedom ever after

Jaclyn Edds Konczal | February 2022

Thirst traps + toxic boyfriends

Like the toxic boyfriend he is, IG shuts me out the more I engage, and showers me with attention and adoration when I pull away. He doesn’t love me for me. I am just a means to an end. He will use me for his egoic purposes, to assuage his insecurities, until I no longer play by his rules or decide to leave the game altogether. 

He tries to convince me I’d be nothing and go nowhere without him, but I’ve been me and I’ve been going places all along. I was there before he lost his soul, before he got obsessed with money and success and fame at whatever cost. I could have lost mine too. But instead I found it. 

My more *mature* (with a hard “t”) lover is my website, where I have freedom, autonomy, and spaciousness to express the fullness of me. Where there are no trolls or ads or marketing hooks. Where I am free to bring all of me, and find myself held and embraced, seen and witnessed. My website lover just holds space, and can handle anything I bring or reveal. They aren’t threatened by my fullness. They want to see me radiant with light and burning with passion for my own sake and for all who feel my heat. 

Toxic IG boyfriend had me on edge, watching my every step, afraid of doing too much or not enough. Never knowing where the bar was, because it was constantly moving, by design. It was never enough with IG bf. 

With website boo, it’s whatever and whenever, anything and everything. I am welcomed and embraced. Which makes me open up even more. There are no red hearts of approval or blue stars of hierarchy and importance- just honesty. 

Honesty is the reward itself.

Jaclyn Edds Konczal | February 2022